Faith or Fear?

If you died at young age, will you let your husband re-marry other woman with your ... insurance money? Well, the first part of letting him re-married is way beyond our control. We can't say no, we can haunt him as ghost and scare the hell out of him... but he will still re-marry, if that what he wants. On the second part, the insurance money... let's think about it...

Yesterday I attended a friend's funeral who died at age 47, leaving a husband and 3 boys. My friends and I were all sure that the husband will soon re-marry other woman. There're only 2 possibilities if the women go first. It's either the man join the spouse to heaven or .. find another woman real soon. Compare to us women; when our man left us, be it to the other world or to the other woman... we will stand strong and raise kids on our own. We are so much better than them. For sure.

At the funeral, my friend asked me if I have "valuable belongings" that I kept from my husband. I said, no I don't have. She said, pointing to the dead with her eyes: "she has many gold which I'm not sure the husband is aware of it." And she added that unfortunately she was also not close to any relatives from both sides (her own and her husband's). She has not spoken to her sister for almost 3 years already. Then she finished the sentence with a firm warning: "you better tell me if you have something that you're hiding and tell me what to do with it when you die." I gave her a sour smile, "what if you die first?"

Then she continued, "you do have a life insurance, don't you?" I nodded.
"And who is the beneficiary? Your husband?" I nodded

She quickly turned to the other friend and said.. "her husband will re-marry other woman with her insurance money"

In the next few minutes, the two of my best friends lecturing me that I should revise the insurance benefit and split it 95% for the kids and 5% for the husband or yet, 100% to the kids.

I admit, it shocked me a great deal. I have never thought of such a thing. Although it looks to be an OK thing to do, but I think to do such thing is like a huge betrayal and will hurt the people I leave behind. My friends told me, it is not a betrayal. It's just a smart and wise way to save your children's future.

Really? Well, on a further thought, it does seem true. People change. Sometimes they change to be a better person, but many of them change to be bad. We never know what's coming.

I guess, what I have is only my faith to God, that Jesus has the best plan for my family... with or without me.